From 2013 issue of The Feminist Observer- INTERVIEW WITH LAUREN LUBIN
From 2013 issue of The Feminist Observer- Interview with Lauren Lubin by Sarah Jeanne Browne
Interview with Lauren Lubin on “Breaking Free of the Gender Binaries”
By Sarah J Browne
Sarah Browne (SB): What is your speech, "Breaking Free of the Gender Binaries" about and to whom have you given this speech? How do you see yourself progressing in terms of public speaking about these issues?
Lauren Lubin (LL): I gave the speech “Breaking Free of The Gender Binary” for the Instigators Talk—leaders, advocates and radical educators, standing up to protect others against injustice— at Chicago Ideas Week last October. I was invited to speak about my project, “We Exist: A Film About A Third Gender” and introduce the fact that there are more than two genders. I say “introduce” because this was (and still is) the first time many people have even considered, or heard, that there are more than two genders.
It was honor to present alongside fellow change agents such as Lilly Ledbetter, Elizabeth Gore, and Zach Wahls, and talk about such an important topic. This was the first time that someone like myself was given such a grand stage and audience, and the response has been tremendous.
Since then, this speech has had an international impact, which has opened the door to many other speaking events. I have watched this project progress from just a film into a social platform and movement... from speaking a few times a year, to now a few times a month (mainly at educational events and rallies)... and we have only just begun. Our platform has become a cornerstone for advocating gender equality for those beyond the binary, which indicates to me that progress has already been made.
SB: When did you start questioning gender binaries?
LL: For as far back as I can remember, I’ve always questioned the gender binary, but the degree of this questioning has deepened over time. Even as a pre-teen, I knew who I was, but could not understand why I didn’t see people like myself anywhere in our culture. As an adult, my youthful curiosities turned into an intellectual pursuit to question why things are the way they are, and ultimately led me to begin “We Exist.”
SB: When and how did you start to acknowledge a different identity for yourself than the one you were "supposed" to fit into?
LL: I began to live a more truthful gender identity when I finally reached my limit of confining my potential to an antiquated gender system that views gender expression as either black or white. I felt ridiculous and dishonest trying to conform to a supposed gender type that society fabricated in the first place. I am proud of who I am, therefore, I wanted to identify as my true self; represent myself honestly and to live my own truth. It was after taking a long, honest look at myself that I adopted the identity of gender-neutral (which, at the end of the day, is actually a small part of who I am.)
SB: How did people around you receive this news?
LL: I have received the full gamut of different responses, ranging from full-acceptance to complete ignorance. Typically, people simply need to educate themselves about the topic before they are fully able to accept and support it, as it is a paradigm shift from how most people view gender. Regardless, even if some people cannot understand me -- or may hold judgements -- no one can deny my honesty. And because of this, people respect my gender identity, and my truth, more than ever before.
SB: What would you tell anyone else struggling with self-acceptance and trying to break free from gender binaries?
LL: I experienced a paradigm shift that forever changed my life, and allowed me to flip my struggle with self-acceptance into total self-acceptance: I decided to love myself and not “gender laws”. The moment I honored my truth -- rather than social laws -- was the same moment I stopped struggling with self-acceptance. In order to do so, I first had to “break-up” with my love affair of gender policing, and subsequently allow myself to break free of gender captivity. I also had to get over my fear of disobeying the laws of gender. When I did, it allowed me to freely express myself according to my own jurisdiction and truth. And truth feels better than anything. It is simple: love yourself, not socially-constructed laws.
SB: How do you think gender binaries harm everyone, not simply those who break traditional gender roles?
LL: There are very real examples of how the gender binary system harms those who do not nearly fit into it. From government paperwork that doesn’t have space for you (including passports), to health-care plans that only cover “one side of you,” to not even having a place to go to the bathroom when you’re out. It’s physically and emotionally crippling.
Even for those who fit neatly into the currently accept definition of male or female, most of us fail to recognize that gender is merely a social construct. This collective misunderstanding, coupled with many’s blind faith in society, is a recipe for disaster that I call The Great Disillusion.
The gender binary is one great disillusion. We all suffer because we have collectively agreed to accept confining social laws that are impossible to attain, rather than allow ourselves to freely be. Those who exist within the binary system suffer by trying to maintain impossible conditions, while those who exist outside of this system suffer social exile. Whether we compile with the gender binary or not, we all suffer from the fear of social punishment if to violate this system. Whichever way you cut it, punishment is a guarantee.
SB: How would you define the gender binary in terms of male and female? What and who does it leave out?
LL: The gender binary originates from the antiquated notion that one’s sex, or biology, determines one’s gender. To make matters worse, we have also long believed that sex should only exist as binary—meaning, all humans should have exclusively either male or female parts (ignoring intersex). Because we have deemed sex as binary, then gender must follow suite. We have confused them as one in the same, when they are actually completely interdependent of each other.
We continue to maintain the false gender pretenses: gender and sex are both exclusively binary. Hence, those born male must grow to be “masculine” while those born female must uphold the terms of “femininity.” We continue to celebrate the gender binary even when science has disproven such a notion. Because of this, we continue the uphold the fallacy that biology is indistinguishable from a social identity. We define the (constantly changing) terms of male and female, masculinity and femininity. It is not our fault because we were all assigned a gender identity at birth. Therefore why question it, right?
Unfortunately, because the gender binary runs on false pretenses, this results in a faulty and exclusionary system. It excludes the hard cold fact that sex is not exclusively binary, therefore neither is gender. In fact, sex is just as fabricated and flexible as gender. Sex can take many forms, and we see this with individuals who are born intersex and/or transgender. All individuals who wish to, and or have, altered their body to match their inherent nature are not only excluded from the gender binary, but also exiled from society.
Then, there are individuals who have questioned the gender binary, therefore do not tether their gender to such antiquated standards. Many of these folks refer to themselves as genderqueer, agender, gender neutral, gender creative, gender variant, and so on... put simply, these are individuals who do not define themselves, nor identify by, the summation of their parts. Because of this, they too are excluded from society: such as no bathrooms, changing rooms, governmental protection, proper gender pronouns, identification, proper healthcare, and the list goes on.
The gender binary is broken system. And because of this, the terms of male and female are also broken. However, we continue to celebrate something that is broken, therefore we continue to unjustly exclude individuals.
SB: What is the WeExistMovement about and how did it get started?
LL: The We Exist Movement is a result of the international response that we have had surrounding our upcoming film “We Exist: A Film About A Third Gender.” When we introduced the concept of the film a little over a year ago, we made international attention almost overnight. Since then, this film has cultivated into an international community and movement standing up for a simple message: we exist.
The film, and consequent movement, began when I could not wait any longer for changes to occur within our society. I was fed up with the silence, invisibility, and lack of resources our culture provides for someone like myself. Rather than waiting and hoping for change to occur, I decided to take matters into my own hands. So I asked myself, “what do you need?” And my answer was profound: basic human recognition. Therefore, this film was the most logical first step in creating this change. It is a medium where others could see themselves for the first time, and could hear their story being told. It is a resource aimed to empower those who may feel isolated, alone, or unsafe to be themselves, and act as a voice for all who have become silenced.
SB: Is there anything else you would like to share with us?
LL: Thank you for having me, and sharing the We Exist Movement! The film is slated to release in the Spring of 2014. Please join the WeExist community to get the latest news, and see when the film and movement will be coming to a town near you!
SB: How can people reach you in order to book you for your speech?
LL: If you are interested in booking We Exist at your next event, please email us at PR@WeExist.co. You can find information about past and future speaking events at WeExist.co
Lauren Lubin is the president and executive producer of We Exist Movement.
Other resources from We Exist:
Media Kit
Media Page (promotional pictures, logos, past media coverage)
Chicago Ideas Week Talk (how and why the project came to be) *please note the project's named changed after this talk
We Exist Blog (each entry is my response to hard hitting gender questions submitted by our world-wide community)